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The crisp promise of peak friction temps is here…or at least on its way, depending on when and where you’re reading this. With it comes the familiar question, whispered from the mouths of seasoned climbers and those still fresh to this awesome community:
“How do I get ready to climb outside?”
How do I train for outdoor climbing? How do I make the transition from gym plastic to real rock? In this day and age, you could just ask ChatGPT, or maybe even Gronk. But friends, I went to the source. I asked local climbing legend Beta Bob (pictured below… probably).
Here’s his no-fail, ultra-realistic, 100% serious training plan for the outdoor season.
Step One: Preparation
First, park your van by a river so the sweet summer sun wakes you with the birdsong. Fire up the Jetboil for your pour-over coffee and practice your gratitude affirmations. Then start packing your crash pad like it’s a Mary Poppins bag. Load it with:
- a five-pound bag of granola
- a textbook on relative gravity
- a full trad rack
- a box fan
- a change of nice clothes, just in case you get a fancy dinner invite
- Basically, anything you can think of... the more weight the better.
This crash pad burrito will be your training weight for the session. Don’t question it...Bob says it’s key.
Step Two: Full Body Warm Up
Slip on your sandals. Yes, they’re worn down to near extinction, but they’ve got AT LEAST one more season in them. Modern approach shoes don’t stand a chance against these babies. With coffee in hand, take your five-step journey from van door to gym entrance. Nod at the front desk with quiet determination, then head to the treadmill.
Crank that incline to “steepest it will go,” plug in your headphones, and boot up Forest and Nature Sounds: 10 Hours, to immerse yourself in a full cardio warm-up disguised as your “hike to the crag.” Bonus points for spilling coffee on your shirt for authenticity.
Step Three: Warm Up the Neck (and the Ego)
After what feels like juuussst too long on the treadmill, get off and head to the bouldering area. The gym doesn’t have a guidebook, but it does have the KAYA app, which works just fine as a stand-in. Open it up and start your “neck warm-ups”. For this, you will slowly meander around the bouldering area, repeatedly looking up and down from “guidebook” to “boulders”, scouting for your perfect project. Once you find the perfect climb, spend about 15- 20 minutes admiring it, maybe just looking and pointing out footholds. If you are feeling spicy, you can start working the beta from the ground by shadow climbing it… and boom, you have a shoulder and wrist warm-up.
Step Four: Psychological Prep
Pull back out your “guidebook” and locate some chill climbs, put your shoes on, and get after it. If you want the true training for outside, something that makes you fall on the first move and makes you question everything about how hard your project is actually going to be. This is what Bob calls the ever-elusive “psychological warm-up,” and it’s a vital part of the indoor training process.
Once your spirit is sufficiently rattled, return to your main boulder. Naturally, a group of four is already on it. Offer them some of your five pounds of granola in exchange for beta and friendship.
Step Five: Activate Try Hard Mode (Sort Of)
Spend the next 2–3 hours alternating between chatting, laughing, brushing holds, and giving the occasional “try hard” pull on your project. Send or not, that’s not really the point…it’s about embracing the existential-ennui-bliss that only a good session with new friends can. Just like the crag.
When the day’s done, head back to the treadmill. Throw that crash pad back on your back for a weighted descent simulation. Then “hike” the 5-step commute back to your van and call it a perfect training day.
The Takeaway (Because There’s Always a Takeaway)
Beta Bob’s plan may be… less than orthodox, but he’s onto something. And sure, there are easier ways to get ready for outdoor season, like hiring a private coach or taking one of our Outdoor Development classes, or even just learning to lead climb. But the big takeaway here is that the best way to prepare for climbing outside is to keep showing up, have fun, and soak in the process.
[Illustrations by Kat Ku]